UnRank

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An UnRank is a rank given to every creature of the UnUniverse. This rank is considered very important. The owner of the highest UnRank is Chuck Norris. The UnRank in question is Above Infinity (but that's an understatement; we all know that he is BEYOND even beyond infinity, and that's insane). The owner of the 2nd highest UnRank is Captain 1 (2030) because he teamed up with Chuck Norris to defeat Duo. The owner of the lowest UnRank is Hannibal Lecter, because he has killed 2 billion people in the UnUniverse (Mr. Lecter's UnRank is below negative infinity). The owner of the 2nd lowest UnRank that's not negative infinity is Reginald Copperbottom, because he betrayed Henry Stickmin, formed a criminal gang and overthrew Henry as the leader (not fair!) There are 21 UnRanks.

We didn’t mention Captain 1 because the UnRank is obvious, -37 Centillion.

When a creature is born, their UnRank starts at 0.

Table of UnRanks[edit | edit source]

UnRank Description Status
Beyond Infinity Divine Sacrosanct with Prestige, no, beyond even THAT! You are one of the best friends of Chuck Norris!
Infinity Infinitely Amazing You are considered beyond god-ship. You get what you want AT ALL TIMES.
10^12+ Godlike You are a god, obviously.
386,329,303,920 - 10^12 Unfathomably Phenomenal You are so outstanding that we had to use two big words to describe you.
1,000,000,000 - 386,329,303,920 Supreme Being "Know your place, minority..."
1,000,049 - 1,000,000,000 Beyond Legendary At this point, not even the most powerful meme master can defeat you.
540,200 - 1,000,049 Legendary You are the stuff of legends.
24,000 - 540,200 Epic Level III You are the highest level of epic before you enter legends.
3,500 - 24,000 Epic Level II You are far into the art of epicness.
564 - 3,500 Epic Level I You are epic.
150 - 564 Above Average You are above the regular moron.
100 - 150 Not Bad You're kind of cool.
80 - 100 Not Awesome You're not the greatest person ever, not really average either.
50 - 80 Lame You suck.
20 - 50 Amazingly Low Maybe you should go lock yourself up.
10 - 20 REALLY?! You have got to be kidding me.
1 - 10 Wow... You should have been dead by now.
0 ZERO You are not worth the dirt you walk on.
-1 - -1000 Fiend The poster would rather want you dead than alive.
-1000+ Beyond redemption. The poster would also rather want you dead than alive. You are so bad that your worth is basically a tiny speck of void dust, and even that is an understatement.
Negative Infinity You REALLY, REALLY suck Calling you the worst person ever to ever live would be a compliment, it does not begin to describe how hated you are by everyone. You've officially become worse than Captain 1.
Below Negative Infinity The Farthest From Zero Not even Satan likes you. Therefore, you'll go to a dull dimension alone instead of hell after death.

Status In the UnUniverse[edit | edit source]

The UnRank is considered extremely important, and often decides the social status of the owner. Someone with a very high level ranking is considered very important, powerful or a good guy, while people in lower ranks are considered losers, weak idiots or evil.

Decision of an UnRank[edit | edit source]

For Normal People[edit | edit source]

Ranks used to be given by the Wise Ones, but they got kicked out and the job got outsourced to 1234567890, since who else knows what number to assign a person than the numbers themselves. Ranks are examined constantly, and if someone suddenly becomes awesome, powerful or evil, their UnRank may change though this is rare. A known example of this is Mister Kooper2.

For Undefeatables[edit | edit source]

In addition to a normal Rank, there is also a separate ranking system for Undefeatables, which is used to either grant a new Undefeatable initiation or depose someone who is currently undefeatable. The system used for this is the UnRank Scales, which stand in front of the Undefeatables' palace. A prospective Undefeatable stands on one of its massive weighing dishes while a veteran Undefeatable (usually one who has been unruly and is in danger of being rejected), stands on the other. Then, Chuck Norris himself strikes the top of the scales, sending a powerful vibration coursing through them. If the prospective Undefeatable stays on their feet, they are admitted into the ranks of the Undefeatables. Out of millions of challengers since the dawn of creation, only a few dozen have stood on the scales and lived to tell the tale.

For Species[edit | edit source]

For in the case something is part of a species, they are compared to others in their range, and judged upon their successes and shortcomings compared relative to one another. Undefeatables outsource the job of ranking species to the UnAnything Team, who study the species for centuries before coming to a conclusion. When a species (or pokemon) evolves, they'll get a new ranking. A species might have more than 1 UnRank for if there's a drastic difference in how it fares in multiple territories, however this is very rare.

Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • Most people use the 3rd scale (evilness) to measure an UnRank.