Toaster
A toaster is that which toasts toast. All toasters toast toast. Guys who like Purple Shep have toasters for heads.
A Toaster is a dangerous device invented by the people who invented other stuff. It is very dangerous, and should only be handled by experts. No, you are not an expert.
History[edit | edit source]
The toaster was originally invented to be a kitchen appliance, before electricity, they had toasters that needed use of fire. Until Alan MacMasters came up with the idea to make an electric toaster in 1893. But Albert Einstein somehow upgraded the idea and then he gave credit to Alan MacMasters for actually making the toaster.
During the first decade of its use, people actually used the toaster to make Toast. This went on until the rise of Bad Tubby Toast, the most dangerous food in the world. Using toasters to cook toast was banned altogether.
Though people still make toast, that is not the primary use for a toaster anymore. Professor Bowser and Doctor Mario led a new operation that redesigned toasters. They were supposed to make a safer toaster, but Professor Bowser (who was really just Bowser) turned toasters into weapons.
Construction[edit | edit source]
The construction of a toaster is simple rocket science. You just need to put a thermonuclear battery into the slot where you're supposed to put money in a vending machine. Then, you shoot the vending machine with a Spartan Laser, and out pops a toaster!
But you're not done yet! Once the toaster comes out, you must plug it into the wall for about three hours. Then you must beat it with a sledgehammer until it begs for mercy. Give it a lollipop so it feels better, and then there is only one more step.
The final and most dangerous step is to ask for a blessing from Super Eviler Bowser. You have to give a really evil reason for making a toaster. If you lie, he will vaporize you on the spot. If you are one in the OVER 9000 that don't get vaporized, you now have one of the most unstable and useless weapons that has ever been known to man, lizard, or dolphin kind.
Use[edit | edit source]
Toasters can be used to make toast, which many find a decent meal. In order to make toast, one must insert a piece of bread toast into the toaster. After a minute or two, the bread toast is gone and toast pops out! Isn't that weird?
It is also used to make Bad Tubby Toast, which is not a decent meal. But most importantly of all, it is used as a weapon to fry people. Some idiots also stick silverware into it, setting it off.
