Bandit Machine

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A Bandit Machine is a machine used by Bandits and non-bandits alike to make a non-Bandit into a Bandit. I.M. Meen REALLY doesn't like Bandit Machines. Bandit Machines look like MRI Machines, but have "Bandit Machine" on the side and snazzy zig-zag lines.

Use[edit | edit source]

For the transformation of a Non-Bandit to a Bandit, read the "Child-to-Bandit Transformation Process" part of This Article. (it applies to all non-bandits, but I used children as an example.) It is really easy to use, with a button on the outside, and one inside the chamber, deactivated during use. There is also a touchscreen with options.

Use by UnONI[edit | edit source]

The UnUniverse Office of Naval Intelligence (like ONI from the irl Halo games) are very secretive, and stuff happens. They wanted to mass produce guys Master Chief, but he sued, and so did Sparta, because UnONI wanted to call it the "Spartan Program". They tried boondoggling with Bandit Machines, and tried kidnapping children, and cloning them because they are derivative. Their modifications failed, and the new Bandits stole their stuff, including their Spartan Lasers. The took the Spartan Lasers to Bowser, and from then on all Koopa Clowns had Spartan Lasers built in. This information was Declassified by ███████████████. (their name was censored by UnONI, this link is to Halopedia article about ONI, will help you understand the inspiration for UnONI. Halopedia Link)

What NOT to get confused with[edit | edit source]

Bandit Machines should NOT be confused with these things:

  • Wa-Machines
  • Wa-Machine 2.0
  • Wa-Maximekk (the ultimate Wa-Machine, it has so many options)
  • Fusion-Machine 9000

Means of obtaining[edit | edit source]

Some IKEA stores sell them, and Bandit Machines are useful against IKEA workers. They are also sold at literally every store ever. They are sold in build-it-yourself kits.

Options[edit | edit source]

Shy Guy-ify[edit | edit source]

Turns whoever inside into a Shy Guy.

Bandit-ify[edit | edit source]

Turns whoever inside into a Bandit.

Untransform[edit | edit source]

Turns whoever inside back into whatever creature they were before, restoring their non Bandit/Shy Guy memories.

Transformation Customization[edit | edit source]

Options to customize transformation

Robe Color

Choose a color for your robe.

SameBrain

Keeps memory, personality, IQ, and intelligence. DOES NOT HELP IF YOU ARE STUPID!!!!!

BrainCustom

Customize the Bandit/Shy Guy brain. Includes stuff like Personality, Name, etc.

Clone

Makes a clone of the user, but as a Shy Guy or a Bandit.

Reasons why Ignatius Mortimer Meen dislikes this[edit | edit source]

  • Bandits steal his books for the Interspecies Book Club.
  • He doesn't like that it looks like an MRI Machine.
  • He thinks it also looks like a toilet.
  • He thought it was a portal to his labyrinth.
  • He doesn't like Clever Goody-Goodies becoming a Bandit to escape.