Bad Tubby Custard

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Bad Tubby Custard (AKA PUBBY CUSSARD!) is an evil food drank by the Evil Teletubbies. It is also loved by Megatron, Gigatron, and the entirety of the Decepticon Army.

Tutorial[edit | edit source]

So, you want to make some Tubby Custard, eh? No problem! No problem at all! Tubby Custard is a magical stuffs! You see, it's sort of like custard, except it's... wait for it... pink! It's pink custard! And that's only the beginning. Just stick around, because it gets so much better.

List of Ingredients[edit | edit source]

  • Gunk and other shit from Evil Teletubby Land Acid Lake
  • Magma
  • Custard
  • Pickle juice
  • Frog legs

Construction[edit | edit source]

The first ingredient in Bad Tubby Custard is formed deep in the pits of the Evil Teletubby Land Acid Lake. Someone has to dive down into the lake to collect the moss and other gunk that gathers on the floor of the lake. Now, only someone evil can do this, so you'd better pay Good Po's Evil Counterpart some good money if you want to make Bad Tubby Custard (unless you can find Ronald McDonald, but he usually doesn't go into Evil Teletubby Land, and nobody else really does either, so Evil Po or another Evil Teletubby is probably your best bet.)

After that, you have to mix it with some pink Slimes and pickle juice. In order to do this, you must slaughter innocent pickles and suck up slimes, preferably with Evil Noo-Noo or the King K. Rool Cannon. Killing these is the only truly evil eat Tubby Custard. Then you must find a creature of Hell or similar demonicness (Evil Teletubbies, Evil Dora the Explorer, or Bob Saget would all work well here. Typhoon Katrina wouldn't, since she's too good, and would only create a hurricane.), and have your demon curse the custard. At this point it should be ready to go.

Applications[edit | edit source]

Bad Tubby Custard has a variety of uses. First and foremost, it is a type of food that the Evil Teletubbies eat. Nobody else can eat it because it is highly toxic to non-Teletubbies (except for Transformers). If you're not into the whole asploding thing, you can also use it to power machines, as it can be used as a fuel source without running out. It can also be used as a weapon, as it is sticky, toxic, and it smells like dead fish and ammonia, so it's been used in two bombs, which spread so much of this stuff it can cover a huge part of Europe. There are even people who use it as a drug, probably as a harder alternative to Heroin and Cocaine.

A certain bag-hatted cowboy wizard does not like to drink this stuff, however he serves it to his children when punishing them.

Evil Pocoyo uses it to punish Pato, Elly, Loula, Octopus, and even his own Vamoosh. Oh and also Sleepy Bird.

Composition[edit | edit source]

Tubby Custard is composed of ammonia, dimethyl cadmium, pureed foreskin (often preserved) and AIDS, stabilized in egg protein with vanilla extract for flavoring. As such, the FDA gives it a rating of E for everyone, although some health concerns have been raised about the preservatives in pureed foreskin.