Alessia Cara

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Obligatory picture.

Alessia Cara is a Canadian Illuminati member recruited to replace Colbie Caillat because "Try" was getting old. How else would a stand-offish anti-social pessimist rise to superstardom?

Right now, she's employed as a singer, but she eventually wants to take over Canada and rule it from Italy. If you put the titles of Cara's most popular songs in the right order, they spell an ominous message: Scars Stay Here.

Contrary to popular belief, Cara is not related to Cara Delevingne, AND WISHES THAT EVERYONE WOULD STOP ASKING HER IF SHE'S RELATED TO CARA DELEVINGNE.