Tattletale Strangler

The Tattletale Strangler is the most aggressive criminal in Bikini Bottom. The Tattletale Strangler is so violent that tough guys or any criminal fear him. He was messing with Bikini Bottom’s property, until Spongebob helped the Bikini Bottom Police arrest the Tattletale Strangler in jail… And Patrick Star popped out.

BEHOLD! THE TATTLETALE STRANGLER-INATOR! (now with filthy hands)

The Tattletale Strangler was a notorious mobster who was known for strangling FBI informants, hence his name. His crime family ran Bikini Bottom for decades. He was also a notorious street fighter, murderer and bank robber, as well as an infamous prison gang leader in Afghanistan.

Early Life

The Tattletale Strangler was born sometimes in the 1960's to Italian parents. He was raised in Philadelphia. His father was affiliated with the Italian Mafia and when the strangler was 8, he was arrested for life. The strangler grew up without a father, and instead found solace in the popular T.V. show "Shat." Shat glorified sex, violence and drugs to children. As a result, the Strangler grew up knowing how to screw hoes and snort dope. Unfortunately, Shat was canceled after season 5 after too many parents complained. The Strangler consequently grew frustrated at the world and decided he wanted to join the Mafia. He went on the official Mafia website and learned they were holding try-outs. He got in after he successfully robbed an orphanage.

Career

The Strangler worked as a hitman first. He brutally intimidated many store owners. When he turned 30, he became a Made-Man after he strangled Lucciano, who turned out to be an FBI informant. The Strangler and the crime family he worked for expanded their territory over most of Bikini Bottom. His boss, deciding to engage himself in the drug trade, began getting drugs manufactured from Squidward.

When they got into a disagreement over their partnership, Squidward and the Mafia went to war. Squidward got Old Man Jenkins to suicide bomb himself which killed the boss. After this, most of the other members of the family were arrested. The Strangler fled to Afghanistan, where he became a famed street fighter and bank robber. This is also where he trained Amir to fight well.

The Strangler was arrested when he was caught publicly masturbating. In jail, to survive, he had to learn to molest people. He molested somewhere between 800 and 1,200 inmates during his time in jail. He also was in charge of a powerful prison-gang. While in jail, he met Assef, a deranged pedo. The Strangler tried to rape him and failed, and so Assef shaved his moustache and then proceeded to rape several other inmates. The Strangler vowed to avenge his moustache.

When Spiderus invaded Afghanistan, all the inmates were released. The Strangler, still mourning his moustache, became a drug addict. He spent God-knows how much time in a whore house, drinking and snorting crack. Finally, he attempted to give up alcohol and drugs, and for a few years, he went straight. He founded a petting zoo and worked for Spiderus's government. Then when Tommy Wiseau invaded Afghanistan, Spiderus and his government were toppled, and the Strangler fell back into his drug ridden state.

One day, he found himself incredibly high, but realized that his former student Amir was in trouble because Assef was killing him. Knowing he needed to save Amir, and also he would finally get revenge on Assef for shaving his moustache, the Strangler went to the building where Assef was killing Amir and kicked Assef in the face.

Assef lunged at the Strangler, but the Strangler dodged it and brought his fist down on Assef's head. Assef turned around and threw the Strangler through the wall. Assef lunged on the Strangler and began beating him with his fists, but the Strangler was too high to feel the pain, so he got up, grabbed Assef's hair and pulled his head into the punch and broke his nose. Assef cried out in pain, but the Strangler forced him to the ground and used his incredible strength to rip off Assef's nose. The Strangler got up and grabbed a vacuum cleaner and grabbed the tube part of it. He then shoved it up Assef's ass and turned it on. The vacuum cleaner sucked all the shit out of Assef's ass. The Strangler then drank it, and raped Assef gleefully. Assef wailed in agony, and Amir and Hassan watched, but offered no help because watching Assef get raped was so satisfying.

Once the Strangler sobered up, he went back to America and resumed his job as a criminal in Bikini Bottom. He later married and sired a few children. One day, the Strangler planned a massive heist and he and his crew robbed a treasury. After they robbed the building, they ran out to be picked up, but the pick up car was not there. Instead, it became every man for himself. The Strangler carjacked a car and drove away and the cops pursued him. The car crashed, and so the Strangler ran to tracks to try and hop onto a train, but failed to do this as well. With any hope of escaping dwindled out, the Strangler decided to go down fighting. He shot 12 cops, killing three and injuring the rest before he was shot to death.