Ko The Panda
Ko is an evil space panda that kills orphans and memes
History[edit | edit source]
He came to earth in 1987 and punched yo mama in the fay.
He came to earth again in 1983 and gunned up a McDonald’s, injuring Everybody inside. Somehow, noone died and all their wounds were identical.
He came back in 2001 and stole the Statue of Liberty (somehow). It was later stolen back by Metagross.
He returned 2002 and shot Luke Hemming. not that i'm complaining or anything.
He came back to earth in 2003 and shot down a NASA rocket as it was launched. A child then suplexed Ko into an barrel full of tiny gold elephants and shock-sensitive explosive. This was all caught on camera, and the video now has over a billion views. The probe inside was unharmed, and successfully launched in 2004.
He came back in 2004 and burned down a full-scale replica of the White House with some mannequins that he stole inside.
He came back in 2005 and ate Typhoon Katrina.
He came back in 2006 and ate Youtube.
He came back in 2007 and freed all the animals in the zoo. He then was arrested for 12 months.
He broke out of prison in 2008 and and shredded Barack Obama's face with a cheese grater.
He came back in 2009 and shot a ballistic missile at Mount Rushmore, carving his face into it, Elmo and his gang then shot him down.
He came back again in 2009 and bulldozed down the Spire of Dublin in Ireland, but he then provoked the irish's ire actually by blowing up a rainbow so that the Leprechauns would live in main Ireland.
He came back in 2010 cut off Bob Saget's head and threw it in a basketball hoop as part of a publicity stunt.
He came back in 2011 and peed on Abraham Lincoln's grave.
He came back in 2012 and nuked China.
He came back in 2013 and expanded the crack on the liberty bell by one attoparsec.
He came back in 2014 and Sunk a Disney Cruise ship that was in port.
He came back in 2015 and tried to detonate a nuke in Australia but people there stopped him by throwing tiny gold elephants at him. The nuke was confiscated.
He came back in 2015 again and ate Cheese Irwin
He came back in 2016 and hired a stingray to kill Steve Irwin
He came back in 2016 again but was brutally murdered by Oscar Clark.
In 2017, he had explosive diarrhea all over the Eiffel Tower. It took 4 hours to wash off, given the tower’s massive size.
In 2018, he dropped Over 9000 bombs in the Atlantic, causing Hurricane Sara to strengthen into a category 2 over Miami.
In 2019, he C4ed all of Northern Norway because it's a funny crime, but Thanos fixed it, of course.
Also in 2019, he suplexed Azure off of Mt. Thor.
In 2020, he detonated 10 thermonuclear bombs in the Yellowstone caldera, causing massive damage to most of the United States of UnAmerica that required highly trained carpenters to fix.
Bio[edit | edit source]
He comes to earth every so often, commits funny crimes and then goes back to space. The only way to defeat him is to throw tiny gold elephants at him because they make him sneeze and when pandas sneeze,