Gatis Kandis
From UnAnything Wiki
Gatis Kandis is a theoretical physicist and engineer who would have been the next Nikola Tesla, except he got a girlfriend. His work includes important contributions to the delayal of the heat death of the universe. Also, it will help you save the precious time and energy.
If he did not get a girlfriend, he might be able to stop the heat death of the universe from happening at all.
He is actually self-aware.