Crimes

Here are the crimes you shall not do, or you will go to The Wall, or you will be arrested by the Police, or will your local authorities, OR ELSE YOU WILL DIE!. This is serious crap, so don't do the following:

• Murder: this crime is killing people, the Teletubbies and Hannibal Lecter do this all the time.
• Cannibalism: eating your same species, Hannibal Lecter is known for doing this.
• Rape: wanting attacking others to f##k them, Serena does this to Ash all the time.
• Wasting: wasting water and other stuff, SpongeBob SquarePants wastes water all the time wasteful cunt.
• Horny: being a horny, You're always horny.
• Theft: stealing duh, EA makes microtransactions all the time.
  • Jewelry heist: doing theft of jewels, gems, or precious metals, Morgoth and Peepy did this once. (Actually, you should probably assume that Peepy did all these crimes.)
  • Lockpicking: opening a lock with a pick, You do this when you play Oblivion or Skyrim.
  • Mattress theft: When you steal a mattress, Halsey and one of the guys from the Chainsmokers did this in Boulder, Colorado.
• Copyright Infringement: Stealing other people's ideas and making a rip off of it. Done by Horrortime tubby all of the time.
• Fraud: making money off of people by deception, Satoshi Nakamoto did this by inventing Bitcoin.
  • 419: sending lies through email and convincing the recipient to wire you money, the prince of Nigeria does this.
  • UnDollar chopping: when someone else is running a 419 and you email the mark and pretend to be the person that the original fraudster wanted you to send money to (this is wrong because it is basically just another kind of 419), Nkem Owoh does this.
  • Tax fraud: when you don't pay all your taxes. Yoshi commits tax fraud. Libertarians make it sound like they do this but they are posers.
  • Wire fraud: This is fraud committed using means of electronic communication. Sam Bankman-Fried, Caroline Ellison, and a bunch of other people at FTX did this.
  • Misleading investors: This is when you make people who are going to invest in something believe something that's not quite accurate about the investment. You might not care about this crime if you didn't invest in that thing, but it reveals that the person who committed it is not honest and is just after a quick buck. Elizabeth Holmes did this.
  • Mattress fraud: when you open up a bunch of mattress stores all in the same place, the mattress stores do this.
• Dirty money laundry: when you make dirty money look clean, Bank of Credit and Commerce International did this.
• Resisting arrest: when you're getting arrested and you fight back, You do this when you play Oblivion or Skyrim.
• Arson: basically burning places and buildings down.
• Plagiarism: Plagiarism is what you get when you copy someone’s work without permission. It is moar like copyright stealing
• Zodiac Awakening: Even if it's by accident, it's a crime to awaken a monster possessing zodiacal properties, committed by both Alt 1.0 and Waluigi. Gorefield makes it a habit to break this law every time he gets up in the morning.
• Trespassing: This is when you go to land that isn't yours. Piglet's ancestors did this. It can also refer to any sin.
• Breaking and entering: This is just like trespassing, except you break something too. Nickelback did this six times.
• Perjury: lying under oath in a court of law. Ben Palmer commits this crime.
• Touching spaghetti: Illegal in rural New Jersey (I'm assuming).

Countries sometimes have their own specific laws. Some of these include:

• Singapore has banned gum.
• In UK, shoplifting a salmon is banned
• In Venice, bird perches are banned as a health hazard as unsuitable for monuments
• North Korea has too many to list.
• China doesn't like it when you talk smack about 'em.
• In Australia, Being drunk is banned
• Canada has banned pennies and think that pennies are flesh from a Canadian bird known as a Looney. So Canada attempted to call those pennies loonies. Canada also banned noises to make Canada as a quiet country. You also get banned from Canada by refusing to eat/drink/like maple syrup
• In Switzerland, hiking in a retarded way is banned
• In Cambodia, using water guns in New Year's Eve is banned as social unrest. So Cambodia banned violence with water guns on New Year's Eve
• In Germany, running out of gas is banned due to Germany keeping everyone's eyes on the road
• In Mexico, biking stupid is banned in order to protect riders
• In Portugal, peeing on the beach is banned due to water pollution. Portugal bans water pollution
• Europe has banned memes due to Article 13 and became a copyright-dominated country
• In Greece, high heels are banned as dangerous crap as unsuitable to preservation efforts
• Denmark has banned YouTube and music on YouTube due to KODA being a royal cheapskate after becoming enemies with YouTube due to a stupid franchise so called "royalty fees". And naming your baby weird is illegal as a thing when you insulted your children
• In Japan, mods of video shames are banned as unfair (bootleg) content due to the "Prevention Against Unfair Competition" law in Japan. Stupid people kept using mods to make money (since bootleg makers made hacks of real video shames)
• In the USA:
  • In Utah, it is forbidden to cause a catastrophe. Librights are currently attempting to repeal this.
  • In New Mexico, if you're legally Stupid, you aren't allowed to vote.
  • In Louisiana, it is illegal to wrestle Bear.
  • In Kentucky, handling reptiles is forbidden in churches.
  • It is illegal to dye fowl or rabbits in Chicago.
  • Cannibalism is (mostly) illegal in Idaho.
  • California prohibits the consumption of frogs that die in frog-jumping contests.
  • In Maryland, swearing is banned in order to make Maryland friendly
  • In Kansas, ice cream on cherry pie is illegal
  • In Hawaii, billboards are banned
  • In Florida, computers and the Internet are banned due to gambling. Because Florida isn't advanced enough to work/play on the Internet
  • In Arizona, spitting on public is banned as vandalism

So the next time you think of doing any of these WHICH I KNOW IS IN ON A DAILY BASIS!, do not because these are all illegal, you know.

Trivia

• Never mind, now there are crimes there! This is because of the fact that the Nazis have took control and now just existence is a crime.
• Despite the existence of Yakuza, Tokyo has a low crime rate.
• Crimes are to not be confused with the rules of the UnAnything Wiki.

See also

• Weird local crimes