Bulk Bogan

Bulk Bogan is the most famous member of the Bogan Family. He lives in Oasis Springs with Garfield and Dio. He is also a genie that states into your soul.

Life Story

Bogan was born in Africa, more specifically Bowser UnWorld Territories. He was born permanently aged 32 (as you do) thus gained his everything license immediately.

He soon went and joined BBC where he started carrying out his acts of terrorism. The BBC became known as his criminal empire. His acts of terror spread everywhere, and eventually took a massive toll on the world.

No one actually cared about his acts of terrorism, that was until he pissed into his local town's water well to assert dominance. One of those town's citizens found his piss and decided it would be a good idea to start drinking it through a straw. The straw became a weapon of destruction when he used it to spray the piss water and blow the heads off of dozens of birds, which made the locals angry.

Soon Bogan was arrested and sent to Cadbury Prison Jail Factory. Then after, Cadbury Prison Jail Factory was taken over by Apple, who want the then warden of the jail, Uriel Septim, dead.

The only secret exit was through Bogan's cell though, so he came up with some dumb story about how he saw him in his dreams and that he needed to be freed so that Bogan wouldn’t kill him. Simultaneously surprisingly and unsurprising, Bogan fell for it.

Soon after he escapes, he went after the dragon that Uriel had just made up, but as it turns out, by sheer coincidence, the dragon actually existed and Bogan would become the Hero of Kvatch and be hailed by all African nations for generations after.

After Bogan “defeated” the Mehrunes Dragon and became the hero of Kvatch, he gave his soul to a clone of the Mehrunes' dragon to live and serve him as a dragonborn.

He also gave all of his stolen goods to the clone to take with him in the future.

When the real Mehrunes who hadn’t actually died found out he tried to kill Bogan, he however used a special spell to stop him.

Despite Bogan's wishes, worshippers of the dragon came over to help. Due to this Bogan ran away. He attempted to

rejoin the BBC but he was denied even though he just saved the entirety of Africa. He got so pissed over this that he destroyed his old work computer as a means to get the BBC back. He spent a few days trying to convince them that it was just a prank. Bogan finally gave up trying to rejoin the BBC, but he still has the following tweets up:

Well, just because you can't take anything now does not make you incapable of the good things we've learned. So, sorry. And please forgive me for the stupid name and spelling mistake of my email, just so you can understand what's that."

After all of that had transpired Bogan was still full of inner rage, so he went out deeper into the heart of Africa then he had ever gone before, and murdered some weird guy named Jesus who was in the service of the African people in some village. Bogan then decided to go partying for the 600 years straight, during this time he would live in a nightclub called The Tux, where he enjoyed the most success, the party usually featured some sort of pizza and beer-filled dance number that would include his singing, which was also a highlight of his time at the club.

It was during this time, through mitosis, he diarea'd out his son Brulk Rogan who would go on to become the fascist dictator leader of West Brazil.

It was also during this time he met Garfield and Dio. Garfield was a lazy cat who abused his owner, and Dio was a gay vampire. Bogan, after meeting the duo, for some reason decided to try and take his life in order to protect the future of his species and the life of the world... Garfield got scratched by Dio which made Bogan quite angry. Dio goes to try and heal him. Dio wants to get Bogan to say he's dying instead of actually dying because the reason Bogan was trying to kill himself was idiotic.

Despite Dio's attempts, Bogan is angry and starts to try and kill Dio. When Garfield sees this, he comes and stops them, but only manages to stop Dio. Garfield makes a desperate plea to Bogan to get out of it and keep the future that Dio has saved going forward, but Bogan gets even more angry. Then with the power of the the many people Bogan and Dio have killed, Garfield, to calm Bogan, gives him a wish. Bogan, even more perplexingly, wished to become the king of Atlantis.

The next day, the 3 of them decided to buy a house in Oasis Springs where they live together to this day. However, due to wish Bogan made an odd thing happened to him.

He was walking to bed when an old lady appeared in his room. She told him about the long-lost Atlantis. She said that there was a statue in the tomb where the King of Atlantis once stood, but they didn't know if the king was left. Now what? A new King would be needed and there was no man on the planet that could do that. What do we have to say about this?

"Why did we need someone like that?" Bogan asked with a curious expression.

"It's your duty to restore our country to its former glory," said the old lady, according to Bogan.

"I shall return Atlantis to its former glory" said Bogan with an apologetic smile on his face and he turned to face his Dio who was looking on with awe down the hallway.

The following events happened according to Bogan:

Suddenly the door to the study suddenly burst open.

"Oh! Oh! I found you!" exclaimed Garfield excited at the very sight. "I'm surprised you weren't just dragged away by those evil-looking reptiles like me.” (It is unknown what Garfield is talking about)

“I am Bulk Bogan, son of Atlantis and I will prove to my father I'll never give up on Atlantis! What's next is MY choice!” Shouted Bogan

Soon after this, Garfield set the kitchen on fire while making Macaroni and Bill Gates broke into their house and attempted to steal their Shamepiramid as that transpired. We have since lost Garfield to a coma from heat stroke.

After this, Bogan would go to Atlantis and rebuild it to its former glory! He then established a not so glorious half fascist-half monarchist dictatorship in which he would act as prime minister and head advisor to the king. However, after Atlantis was destroyed a second time by the UnAmerican Army, he went into hiding. There, he founded a new state of Atlantis where the ruling class were called the Agrarians; the population is made up of what Bogan called the "Gods" and most were of his own creation.

Bogan currently lives in Oasis Springs with Garfield (catatonic) and Dio, and carries out all of his prime minister duties from home.

Trivia

• Bulk Bogan has been producing the hottest beef jerky in the industry for about 2 years!
• Bulk Bogan weighs an annual average of about 3,300 pounds. That's more than 8,000 pounds of marijuana.
• Bulk Bogan and Dio have already completed an agreement to co-release their sophomore single 'Ain't No Love' on their upcoming upcoming EP of the same name.
• both Garfield and Dio have been mentioned as potential candidates in the next episode of The Flash and neither of them have told Bulk.
• Joel is very much aware of Bulk's existence.